Top Gear

Years ago my sister-in-law gave me the greatest advice: “Live with as many people as you can, as it well help you on the day you get stuck with one.”

Fourteen roommates later I have seen it all, but the worst was during my college days in Colorado with M. A month with no doorknob, meth binges on the coffee table, and his having sex with all his female employees aside, there is one day that sticks out to me.

One advantage of living with M was that he had a manual transmission truck, which he would let me learn to stick on. One day he presented me with an opportunity to practice by driving him to meet a friend. My first indication that this might have been a bad scene was when we had to meet his buddy in a park near the bathrooms. He tells me to practice driving around while he talks to his friend. This is when he tells me it is a coke deal.

“Just go ahead and  practice driving around and come back and pick me up whenI wave to you,” he said.

So I practiced driving up and down the street until he waves me over. By the time I pulled up to the two of them, they were arguing and pointing at me. Finally his “friend” who had been giving me the stink eye, relented and the money and drugs exchanged hands.

Matt got into the truck and I asked why they were arguing and why his dealer was glaring at me.

Nonchalantly, he told me, “The dude was trying to screw me, so I told him you had a gun.”

Needless to say, it was many years later before I finally perfected driving stick.