Tool Obsession

In my freshman year of college in Boston, I shared a dorm room with two other girls.  A spent her days smoking pot and listening to the same Grateful Dead tape over and over and over. It was annoying, but not horrible. The other girl B, on the other hand, was the Worst.

On our first day, she marched into the room, declared “I’m a Jewish-American princess, so I always get what I want!” What she wanted soon became apparent. Her favorite form of amusement was to sit on top of her desk, lean out our window on the fourth story and scream “PENIS!!” at the top of her lungs, then shriek with laughter. She could, and did, do this for hours.

She also hit on my boyfriend constantly, telling him that, if he ever got bored with me, she was willing. He finally stopped coming into our room after she walked up behind him and stuck her hands down his pants.

Her goal for freshman year was to sleep with 26 guys – one for each letter of the alphabet. I lost count of how many there actually were. I wouldn’t have cared, except she liked to have sex with her various boyfriends in our room. During the day. While A and I were there. And they wouldn’t try to do it discretely under the covers. She also liked to leave our room door open while having sex so people in the hallway could see the show going on inside.

When she finally got a steady boyfriend, she announced that she was going to keep mementos of every time they had sex… by keeping the used condoms. She slept on the bottom bunk (poor A had the top) and planned to hang the condoms from the springs of the top bunk. Luckily, A and I were able to talk her out of that (I think we told her we’d set the bed on fire if she did that).

These are just the highlights. I was so happy when that year was over!