Rocking Fella
My Very Worst Roommate, M, thoroughly enjoyed being on unemployment benefits for the entire 10 months I lived with him. He spent most of his time turning my white couch brown (he had no furniture of his own and slept on dirty, old couch cushions with a sheet over them instead of a bed), watching bad reality TV, never cleaning, and protesting his turn to buy hand soap by wondering if he had enough money.
He repeated himself endlessly the way only a former drug addict on methdone can, and told my other roommate and I of his future as a rock star, which he really, genuinely believes is still going to happen (M is 35, I’m 24), though he never performed or recorded. As time went on and he realized we disliked him, he would sit and listen to angsty songs in his room. When he heard us walk by, he would turn up the volume and sing along to relevant passages.
The day after he told me his girlfriend was pregnant (and that they were keeping it), our electricity got turned off. Whenever I had asked about the bill before this, I’d received “I’m taking care of it” assurances but it seems he hadn’t actually paid it in 12 months. I had only been there for nine at this point.
We all moved eventually. But before we did, I had to hold his government check as ransom to make him clean out his room. He and his girlfriend are expecting in the spring.
I hope she got the couch fumigated
gross, the poor kid. Why do morons like this insist on breeding.
The music part vaguely reminds me of an ex of mine. He dropped out of college after one year because he decided he didn’t like it and didn’t have anything he is interested in doing. He lives at home with his dad still (his mom kicked him out) and doesn’t have a job. I think he’s convinced himself his “music career” will take off, even though all he does is play the guitar very, very poorly. Aside from the bad guitar playing, he doesn’t do anything else musically, isn’t in a band, and can’t and won’t sing. He’s never performed anywhere and also has no recordings.
Awhile ago we talked for a bit, and he informed me he had written a song about me. >_> oh boy.
FYI, the correct grammar is “told my other roommate and me” not “and I.” You use “me” because it’s the subject of the verb “told.” Would you say, “he told I”? Of course not! You’d say, “He told me.” It doesn’t change just because you add another person to the sentence.
Don’t worry, you’re one of many who get this wrong. I blame reality TV, where people are always saying “there is a connection between John and I!” I guess they think it makes them sound smarter. Joke’s on them, I guess.
Lilly – you are my hero.
Wow, Lily – what else can you correct us little people on? Oh, wait – I suppose I should have written “On what else can you correct us little people.”
Tronner, jeez… you forgot a comma in your second sentence. ;D
me too lilly….
tronner, I apologize. I’d forgotten that because this is the internet, spelling and grammar are not necessary. Instead, I will silently assume someone not being able to spell or use proper grammar is a moron and simply ignore them, even if they do have something interesting to say. You’ve saved me a ton of time, so I appreciate that.
Oh, get off your high horse – I never said spelling and grammar weren’t necessary, but I am sick of every grammar snob out there pointing out the tiniest flaws in another’ person’s ability to write. I’m sure I too could spend most of my time filleting out every error that mars an otherwise amusing piece of writing. Instead, I’ll spend most of my time mocking those that do.
And yes – I’m sure you’re already chomping at the bit at the left-over apostrophe…so, feel free…go to town.
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