The Character

My Very Worst Roommate was an acquaintance I had known from high school. We both were going to be moving to the same city for school about 30 minutes away from our hometown, so we decided share a place. We’d known each other for quite a few years but were never all that close. Yet even before we moved in together, she started posting things like “39 days until the move, roomie!” on my Facebook, prompting my friends to question why I would move in with someone so utterly different from me.

She did all the usual horrific roommate things, such as getting into screaming matches with her long-distance boyfriend on the phone all night, never cleaning up the common space or taking out the trash. She also cheated on the said boyfriend blatantly and used me as an alibi when she was really out with other men. When he came to visit, he’d ask me about all the things me and her had done together. I had no clue what he was talking about.

But it was her random absences for several weeks at a time while she was supposed to be in school that started to really weird me out. I was actually worried for her, so I decided against my better judgment to go into her room and check to see if something was very amiss.

On her desk was a bound presentation folder. Since she hadn’t been in school for ages, I was interested in what she was working on. I opened the folder only to find a photo of me! She had printed out pages and pages of my online blog & written comments in the margins about me. Horribly mean things that I had no idea she felt about me. Some very childish like: “I think I’m so hot, when I’m really not!” All written as if I was saying them myself! I was so intrigued; I sat down and read the whole thing. Each comment was written in a different color marker. The time she took to dismantle me in private was astounding.

I left the folder in a different position than I found it in just to mess with her head. She really didn’t spend much time in the apartment after that.