Soda Struggle

I was lying on the couch one day when my roommate came home and started stomping around and slamming doors. Then, she looked at me and said, “Where the f*** is my bottle of Irn-Bru?” Irn-Bru, for you non-Scottish folk, is an orange-coloured soft drink. I looked at her and replied that I had no idea. I proceeded to enquire, “What’s with the attitude?” This unleashed her. She began ranting and raving. “I don’t give a f*** about attitude.Where the fuck is it?” She continued slamming doors while I got up to meet our other roommate. As I lifted myself from the couch, I casually told her to just get another bottle of Irn-Bru. She informed me she had no money and began to argue with me about everything. Suddenly, she flipped and shoved me against the wall. Then, she kicked me and started hitting my head. I hit back. A crazy people fight ensued. Eventually, I managed to call the police. When the arrived, she played victim and was full of ‘woe is me, I’m bullied’ lines. I then told the police that she started the fight over a can of Irn-Bru. Their reaction was: “Really?”