Dangle Action

My Very Worst Roommate was a nuisance in many, many ways.

She was vocal about her sports injury and took pain relievers whenever there was an audience. She organized my desk according to her liking, which involved cramming everything into drawers. She ate my snack food, then accused me of doing the same to her and asked for reimbursement. She once borrowed my school T-shirt, without asking, played an outdoor sport and returned it unwashed and stained.

She preferred our door to stay open whenever possible and so there was a constant stream of people who came in to hang out…and get high in our bathroom. When I really needed to do schoolwork and asked folks to leave, she’d get pissed and sulk. She and her boyfriend would have sex at night in the room, less than 5 feet away from me, while they thought I was sleeping. 

She told the RA that I was suicidal, resulting in a very confusing meeting in which I was asked why I wanted to jump off the library. She complained about my sleep schedule (I had classes late so would sleep in) and began joking that she was studying to be a medical examiner, and could use the cutting practice.

But worst of all, she would leave our dorm unlocked and unoccupied. The fourth time I came home and found her keys dangling in the door lock, with her nowhere in sight, I did a horrible thing. I took her keys from the door and pitched them behind the microfridge unit.

After she went through the hassle of getting new ID and keys, she was a little more responsible about where she left them.