It Was Me
I was my freshman dormmate’s Very Worst Roommate. I grew increasingly depressed as the semester wore on, and by Thanksgiving Break, I stopped going to my classes and became nocturnal, sleeping from around 8.00 a.m. until nightfall at 5.00 p.m. I’d take her food since I was hungry from only eating two meals a day: dinner in the dining hall when I woke up and breakfast before I went to sleep. I assured her that she could eat anything of mine but she wasn’t interested in sharing and I rarely ventured far enough to stock our fridge anyway. Plus, I was incredibly uncomfortable with her drinking underage but refused to admit it to her.
By the end, she tried to help by asking me about why I was sleeping so much and I’m pretty sure she told our RA, but I rebuffed his attempts to reach out to me because I was angry he let people drink on our floor. I dropped out after one semester and didn’t keep track of her, but every so often I’m tempted to track her down and tell her that after 8 years of attending a new college part time, I successfully dealt with my issues with depression and anxiety and graduated. It would hardly make up for it though!
It’s nice to hear from the Very Worst Roommates, but stop defending your crappy behavior with passive aggressive bs. So what if your roommate drank underage — mentioning it twice without saying “And I was passive aggressive” just makes you sound like you were defending yourself.
BTW, underage drinking is relative. While there is legality to it, I feel it is more of a moral issue. Unless she (or he? I can’t figure it out) was binge drinking and having parties, it was no concern of yours…. unless you were looking for a reason to steal and rebuff people who want to help you. I hope you get rid of that attitude, because no one makes you do anything unless you want to do it. So you wanted to steal that food and you wanted to rebuff that help, not because she/he drank underage, but because you were depressed. Get it? Not them, it’s you.
Ooooh, is that my pet peeve? Me thinks so!
I don’t think that the poster was trying to place blame on her roommate. She admits that she refused to tell her she was uncomfortable with the underage drinking- indicating to me that she admits it was her fault for never addressing the issue directly. I think you are being overly critical of someone who is obviously accepting blame for her actions by posting her story on this site.
Don’t bother the poor old roommate, just let her move on.
“but I rebuffed his attempts to reach out to me because I was angry he let people drink on our floor.”
Were you honestly that much of a moral elitist? You refused to even speak with someone because they passively allowed drinking? Ugh, you sound terribly obnoxious, not because you disagree with underage drinking, but because of the way you clearly scorn people for not adhering to your set of beliefs.
Emily’s comment to Michelle is applicable to you too, sober sally.
yeah really…give the person a break. Good for you, depression isn’t just the blues or a bad mood. It’s debilitating and people make light of it, then go ‘gee, i wish i’d known’ when something terrible happens. IMHO we do a shit job of helping the mentally ill in our society.
Emily, I admit it is a pet peeve. That the OP had to mention it more than once in a two paragraph post sounds a bit passive to me. But that’s the fun of these stories — we all get to be overly critical, including you. ;D
Sometimes, when you’ve been through a situation like this with someone, it’s nice to have them acknowledge what happened and apologize. I say go for it – as long as you are sincere.