321stars: Happy to hear you’re doing well and got yourself out of that situation. It’s inspiring that you are where you are today, when you could have easily gone down a different path.

Regarding the tattoos, I was just emphasizing how she didn’t take it seriously at all. I have tattoos, too, but I also have the sense to cover them in certain situations. It’s stupid that tattoos have that conotation in society, but for now people with them need to cover them when the situation calls for it.

Her friend told me that she was diagnosed as a sociopath and refused meds. I don’t doubt it for a second. I’ve looked up profiles on sociopaths since, and it fits her perfectly. You may have a point with self-medication, since she used to smoke a lot of pot but abruptly stopped and switched to drinking all the time, which made her much more angry for whatever reason.

There really were so many times where I felt sorry for her, but I struggled with feeling sympathy for her since she just seemed like such an awful person. She constantly went out of her way to be difficult, and difficult is such an understatement. I could write a dissertation on her horrible behavior in her short span there. There were only so many malicious things she could do before I started disliking her enough to erase any and all sympathy.

The weird part was she acted like she was a victim. Even though she immediately got kicked out of her next place too, I think she honestly believed we were all against her and were just horrible, mean people. Of course, toward the end we were getting her evicted so I guess we were teaming up against her at that point, but for most of her stay there we really put forth the effort to be civilized and, to a point, compassionate, which is really difficult when you’re met with the exact opposite behavior. Those of her friends that we talked to didn’t really buy the whole victim thing, and actually empathized with us since they knew how she could be. Most of them didn’t even particuarly like us, they just understood we weren’t what she made us out to be. That was another point I felt bad for her, when her friends showed such little compassion for her. Some of her friends were there the night we called the cops about her threatening suicide. All of them acted very cavalier, but apparently she had pulled that attention-getting stunt before. All of her friends that I interacted with didn’t seem to necessarily care about her so much as want a drinking buddy.

I can see what you’re saying about her having a problem, but she refuses help and I feel like her behavior goes beyond mental illness with a conscious decision to actively be a complete bitch.

I by no means am trying to justify this chicks insane behavior and blatant disrespect for other people but it honestly sounds like she might be suffering from a mental illness or drug/alcohol problem. That does not make any of what she did OK but might just shed some light on the situation. And where were her parents? Why did they not step in? Were you guys able to contact them at all and if you did have their information did you try? I’m not saying that she isn’t a big girl and as an adult you have to clean up your own messes or lay in your own beds once you make them but really. Oh I see that you said no one knew her parents. Well that’s kinda sad, maybe she didn’t have the best relationship with them.

Like I said, she is 100% responsible for what she did but I can kind of relate to this. I’m bipolar and a drug addict in recovery. When I was 18-20 I was at the peak of my bipolar “developing” so to speak and it was a very scary and rough time. I had no idea what was wrong, my husband (then boyfriend) had no idea either and was really worried I had actually lost my mind. Its common for certain mental illnesses to peak at around those ages. Which is why high school and the earlier college years can be so rough for some people.

It is also very common for people with mental illnesses to abuse drugs. Self medication is sometimes the only way for some people to “function” or “feel normal”, especially if you don’t have the option of being medicated, being committed for awhile to a treatment program, access to a psychiatrist, etc. Dual diagnosis is extremely common in drug treatment and makes it all that more difficult.

On top of all of that I had a shit relationship with my parents, they were active drug users and because of that I lacked any kind of real stability or support from the people I probably needed it from the most.

Its a time in my life that I was, for a very long time, very ashamed about. I was out of control, I acted so irrationally and I was hurting myself and the people around me immensely.

But because of my husband and support from a key few people (both online and in person) I was able to overcome the majority of it and am currently dealing with it on a daily basis. But most importantly I now see a reason to actually live and be successful.

I got medicated, I got counseling, I got support, I got away from the people who were poison and because of that I was able to get an education, get clean – stay clean! (almost a year now, unfortunately the drugs stay with you the longest sometimes) and I’m married, happy, and starting a family. Some people still look down at me and tell me how much I am going to fuck up my kids and not only my life but their lives and my husbands life and for that matter anyone who I am around but you know what….I know I have problems, I deal with them and because of that I will be able to be a huge resource for my kids and anyone else who asks for it. Its better than being a closet alcoholic or even an acknowledged alcoholic and abusing your children or spouse and hurting the people around you because you are not in treatment and striving towards recovery.

Sorry I know that was a long post and got kind of off topic but I honestly just felt a pang for this girl. She might have a lot more going on than we know (or hell even more than she knows) and I really feel for her. And so many people will read this and walk away from it thinking how much of a shit person she is and sadly she deserves that judgment right now. But…I’m not even christian or religious. I am a staunch atheist but I still believe that its not my position to pass judgment on anyone else.

I’m sorry you had such a terrible roommate experience and I’m glad you got awarded the money and were able to move on past it. Also thank you for caring enough to call the cops when she made threats against her life.

And just know that because of you and the other roommates you may have saved her life those nights. And one day when she is able to have the clarity she will look back and be so ashamed about what she did to you guys but she will be thankful that you cared enough to intervene when she was a risk to herself and others. She will seek forgiveness from you and the others and she will be so mortified over what she did and how she acted.

Of course this is all on the assumption that she is in fact suffering from some kind of abuse, mental illness or addiction problem and I don’t know that for a fact but I do know that this story could have been about me 5 years ago. And I’m no longer morbidly embarrassed to admit that. Because that doesn’t define me and that’s not who I am today. I barely recognize myself but I can still see pieces of myself in this young lady.