Spiritual Sixtysomething

This is actually my friend’s Worst Roommate…

A couple of years ago, a friend of mine was coming back for the summer and had a job here, so I helped find him a summer sublet. It was a nice place, the tenant was leaving for the summer. However, just after my friend moved in, the tenant rented out the other bedroom to a woman she knew who was ‘just getting out of a bad relationship.’ My friend wasn’t too happy about that because he really had thought he’d be living alone and wasn’t keen on roommates. But he was at work and figured OK, fine. The woman, Lynn, was about 60 and didn’t seem to have any real job or means of support, nor did she spend any time looking for a job. She spent most of her day sitting nearly naked (wearing only a g-string) and doing yoga in the living room, while listening to the soundtrack from Dawson’s Creek.

She moved all the living room furniture around without asking and was always telling my friend that she was a ‘very spiritual person’ and would leave New Age articles around the house for him to read. My friend is a total atheist and like me, thinks that stuff is BS. Then she’d hound him about whether or not he’d read the article. When he told her he wasn’t interested she called him ‘hostile’ and that he had ‘anger issues.’

She’d bang on my friend’s door and ask him to turn down his music, even if it was 4 pm and the music wasn’t loud. Why? she just didn’t like his music. Apparently, she’d bang on the neighbor’s doors to tell them to turn down their music for the same reason. Finally, she called the main tenant long distance to complain about how my friend wasn’t being very nice to her. Finally, the tenant asked Lynn to leave (she went to live with her mother). Meanwhile, my friend Matt had the rest of the summer with the apartment to himself, enjoying the peace and quiet.