Now You’re In New York
I moved to New York City to start my career and found a roommate through the Village Voice. He was a nice enough guy, but often acted weird when it came to me bringing girls over. He would walk around the small apartment in a robe that was curiously well worn in the groin area, making it transparent, and it would make my dates uncomfortable. On other nights, I would hear strange noises coming from his room that sounded like pff, pff, pff. I couldn’t quite imagine what it was so one evening when he was out I decided to peek inside his bedroom. Up to this point I had never been inside before and was startled to see a partially deflated blow up doll with a gaping mouth staring at me. I then immediately noticed an opened oversize jar of Vaseline. There was an imprint of four fingers in a scooping motion and then it all finally made sense. Pff, pff, pff. There was also some she-male porn lying around for good measure. I got out of there as soon as I could.
Gross…
Sounds like NYC is blowin’ up, yo!
Hehe, while I am opposed to sneaking into your roommates room, I am sure it only took a couple of seconds for the horror to set in
You found a roommate from the Voice?! I am guessing that’s a nice period detail from the days before internets and Craigslist??
To me, the she-male porn is more disturbing than the doll.
I can understand a guy looking at naked chicks or naked men. But why men with boobs? Would he-women be equally enticing to him? Exotic sexual preferences dizzy and confuse me…
Haha, while I’m sure that more info than anyone wants to know about their roomate, it IS your own fault for snooping.
When you go to the Village Voice for a roommate 3 out of 4 vasseline dipped fingers you’re gonna get a sexual deviant. I only hope you’re not looking through the WSJ classifieds for a BDSM fix. Actually, there you might be in luck. But lookin’ for a bat mitzvah DJ at muslimnews.co.uk? G’luck.
The onomatopoeia for fucking the blow-up doll just made my day.