Smells Like Teen Spirit
I moved in with my second Very Worst Roommate when I left the dorms a semester early to get away from, not just my first Very Worst Roommate, but the generally loud, vomit-covered walls of my hall. I moved in with two boys, M and R, from said hall who felt the same way I did. At first the household was harmonious. We had a good time together and we were all just happy to be off campus. Soon, the boys stopped washing up after their dinner preparation. Plates, bowls, pots and pans started growing mold in the sink as I eventually refused to clean up after them.  After about a month of this I got rid of all but three plates and three bowls of all different colors. The white plate and bowl were mine and the boys had the blue and green ones.  n this way, they were forced to wash their dishes if they wanted to eat. Unfortunately, we’d gone to Costco to buy cups and therefore had two dozen differently sized glasses which sat around the living room and kitchen at all times. In addition to the glasses, M had an unnatural obsession with diet soda and every surface and cabinet in the apartment was full of cans.  I wasn’t allowed to take them downstairs to the recycling room because he wanted to cash them in for money.
The general filth of the common areas was bad enough, but soon a distinct unwashed smell started wafting from the boys’ room and they took to keeping their windows open and door closed to keep the smell from getting into the rest of the apartment (a small blessing that left our apartment freezing through the winter). Their bathroom was never cleaned nor did M ever wash his sheets. At least he washed his clothes, though that occasionally happened in the unwashed tub rather than in the multitude of washing machines in the basement of our building. Both boys had jobs and I didn’t because my parents didn’t want me to work during my first year at University. Because of this and because of the filth of the apartment my dad suggested that I could work out an arrangement with the boys in which I would keep the common areas clean in exchange for a slight reduction in rent. I suggested this to R first who wasn’t bothered but when I approached M and made my argument my suggestion was met with rage.  He screamed at me as I sat there sobbing and finally got up and went to his room.  He came back later to inform me that he’d wanted to hit me which was why he walked away.
Even before this episode, M had stopped going to class and sat in the living room playing Grand Theft Auto all day, moving only to eat and go to work. He began insulting my looks, which was rich coming from an overweight kid whose “beard†more closely resembled pubes than facial hair. After the blow out in the weeks it took me to find a new place I hardly left my room and moved out one day when I knew he wouldn’t be home. I hadn’t told either of the boys for fear of the reaction.  Amazingly, even with the threat of violence, the rental company would not let me out of my lease, but my parents were happy to pay double rent for the duration of the contract if it meant that it got me out of that living situation.
sometimes I wonder if you are the one that is hard to live with? Couldn’t stand dorms, then roommates you choose?
sorry, but two slobs who don’t clean up and play goober games all day? which sane woman wouldn’t be grossed out? the video game guy sounds just like my former upstairs neighbor except he was clean shaven and actually had a job.
Anyone who gets so mad at someone about something as simple as cleanliness in public space that he wants to hit them has some serious issues.
You sound like a right, royal bitch.
How does she sound like a b*tch?
glad your parents were able to afford not one, but TWO rents for you. perhaps you could have used your pocket money to afford some febreeze.
seems like people are only being mean to the OP just because she paid double rent. it may be lucky and mayyyy be spoiled of her, but has no bearing on whether or not she was a bitch or the bad roommate, here! people need to grow up and stop being jealous/judgemental pricks.
OP here – yeah, it was pretty bitchy of me to dislike mold growing on my pots and pans, and to not want to get hit!
Folks are right, though. I was incredibly lucky that my parents were able to afford double rent for a couple of months, though if your daughter was living with a guy who threatened to hit her, wouldn’t YOU do everything you could to get her out of that situation?
Incidentally, my original VWR was the girl who brought home a homeless man and gave him my bed (a posted a couple of months ago). So, I don’t really think I was the bad roommate in that situation, either! Obviously I’m biased, though.
NEJoy: I think he was probably more angry that he was being asked to pay a higher share of the rent, not that she was offering to clean. But I agree he sounds highly irrational and has major issues. I think what OP did was right, and it’s fortunate she had parents who not only financially but emotionally were there for her.
Op – don’t sweat the douchebags on this thread. Truth is huh and axel are people like your vwrs in real life – lazy, gross, violent unwashed pigs. That’s why they’re getting mad at you.
You did nothing wrong, of course, and you’re lucky you’ve got parents who understand and helped.
I find there’s a tendency among spoiled ass people whose Mommy did everything for them, to view others who have standards of hygiene, as being some kind of OCD Martha Stewarts. I lived with someone like that for a short time….he agreed to be included in a chore chart “if it was important to me.” Yeah, actually it was “important” that I:
A. had a reasonably clean house, where I wouldn’t gag to walk through in bare feet;
B. didn’t have to do EVERYTHING to accomplish this myself.
I think asking for a reduction in rent to cover the cost of the time it takes to clean up after roommates, is reasonable. Time is money. And it’s also reasonable to want to live in a reasonably clean house.
When I made the chore chart, split between 4 people, it worked out to literally like 1/2 hour of chores per person PER MONTH. And somehow it was still a bit too much to handle. Some people just will not contribute if they know someone else will do it for them.
I don’t know about anyone else, but when i left home i knew how to do laundry, wash the floor, do the dishes and scrub the tub -n a regular basis, not once a year!
I didn’t grow up with shitloads of money. I just think it’s gross and disgusting that people who are adults move into homes and then turn them into garbage receptacles.
Did you take your white plate and bowl with you? I guess no amount of color coordination can save some roommate relationships.
I think once “chore charts” are made, things have already disintegrated to an unrecoverable level, but some people probably do need them. And, like RJ said, it does indicate how LITTLE a person actually has to do to keep things clean.