May You Come Soon
I currently live with MVWR, W. I’ve come to realize that it’s really not just W and myself that live at my apartment. It’s actually quite the paradise for all of “W’s” friends who are, coincidentally, unemployed.
My apartment turns into what I call, the UEP (unemployed playground) when I leave for work. W wakes up, presumably around 11 or 12, makes himself breakfast, eats it under the covers on the couch, and then calls his friends to come over.
Then one, maybe two or three of them show up, plunk their dirty asses down on the couch (which I’m strongly considering NEVER sitting on again) and watch TV/Movies/Sports and smoke blunt after blunt until its time to, surprise! EAT again…
They may go out to lunch, you know, spending that unemployment money wisely, but more than likely, they will be ordering in. I know this because of all of the wonderful take out containers that have made their way into my cabinets (still covered in oily grease btw)… Then, its time to smoke another blunt…
Now, if one of these dreamboat, super cool and productive friends of W’s has a car, perhaps a blunt cruise and a stop at the convenience store for some Arizona iced teas (which will be spilled either on the couch or on the floor shortly thereafter) and then rendezvous back to marinating on the couch for hours upon hours…
That is when I come home. I walk in after a 10-hour work day, house smelling like old asshole and blunt, the sink littered with dishes (that used to be in the dishwasher, but for some reason, W has decided to place on the counter) and the living room filled with refuse. And by refuse, I am referring to the 2-4 dudes who have done nothing all day except serve as an excellent examples of sloths personified…
And he wonders why I lock myself in my room/stock up on Febreeze/am gone as much as possible/avoid him. I cannot take living at the UEP anymore. I seriously cannot. But thankfully, the lease is up soon. May 31, may you come quickly for us all.
This sounds awful…but I like your writing style.
Yes, this was well-told.
(Seems that Febreeze is the coomon shield used against worst-roommates– Jessica & Victoria ought to solicit Proctor & Gamble for advertising!)
“common”
@Lisa you are so right!
ugh another month of this crap? how’d you get into this sitch?
Well, I knew him from College, then ended up working with him, and despite his previous roommate’s attempts to dissuade me from a lease, I was going into debt with my current place and needed a roommate asap.
About 11 days into the lease, my company laid off 50 employees including W. It was okay for a while, still trying to impress and prove himself worthy as a roommate… But things soured around month 2.
This, sad to say, is just a tiny sliver of the headache I’ve had for 9 months. There’s the damp socks (turned to crusty socks) shoved into the couch… The rogue freezer-burned raw drumsticks floating about in the freezer… The use of the microwave as storage for perishable goods not to mention HOURS of “Japanime” Samurai Jack etc on my DVR… He also once removed the entire entertainment system in the living room when I was gone for the weekend so that he could have a better multimedia experience in his room…
I have voiced my concern and the potential need for hazmat at the house and as of late, he’s been strategically placing the swiffer and cleaning products throughout the house as if he’s done stuff, but the floors are sandy? and still stained with man-gunk.
Honestly though, this posting has almost made it worth it. Thanks for reading
this sounds AWFUL. way worse than my VWR experience. sorry
@ stuckinhell.
I love the effort people go to in order to indicate they’ve accomplished something (as in the strategically placed swiffer), when if they actually applied that effort to the task they’d have finished it already. It’s as if they are allergic to success.
LOL oh I feel for you. He sounds similar to my ex husband (also a cronic pot head). Hope things get better soon! ie: you find a new place/ new roomate!
hehe…”rogue freezer-burned raw drumsticks “…….”man-gunk”
This one was written really well. I approve.
Thank goodness the lease is almost up.
Call the cops. Drugs are illegal. I don’t get why people look the other way when others are keeping illegal substances in the same house. You know, you could get in just as much trouble if you’re caught without reporting it.
that’s how we get into that kind of mess, when we’re desperate. My upstairs neighbors were like that, except they had jobs. Thank god they were only there for a year. God save us all from loser, slacker, anime watching pothead, RPG addicted goober shlubs!
Dontgetit – Really, you don’t get it. I am not sure what state laws you are citing, but pot isn’t the reason this loser is a loser. Sheesh. Read up on some history coupled with critical thinking and you might find that what is illegal wasn’t made so to protect the constituents.
This roommate sounds like a grade A loser that is just grasping at anything that will keep his lame ways of handling failure acceptable in his friends’ eyes.
Pot isn’t the reason the pothead that sits on a couch all day smoking pot is a loser? Seriously? I guess I’m just not a critical thinker like the dudes that love to celebrate 4:20 twice a day and seven times in between. Working a job, having a clear head, contributing to the economy is tiresome…wish I had time for “critical thinking” and debating why pot is the bestest but the man (damn the man!) is just keeping me down.
Legalize the damn drug for all I care. Alcohol is legal and that does wonders for your body and mind. I know it does wonders for those in serious, debilitating pain or for those with significant nausea. But don’t try to tell me THC doesn’t have the capacity seriously mess with your physical and psychiatric health if you abuse it like the roommate above.
Potisstupid – do you honestly believe that if he wasn’t smoking pot, he’d be “contributing to the economy” or otherwise not a loser? Don’t you think maybe the pot is a symptom of a larger problem, not the actual problem?
Possibly he would. I’m not sure whether the drug abuse is caused by his lack of motivation, or his lack of motivation was caused by the drug abuse, but his drug abuse is surely not helping the problem. You look at a lot of famous people who use (or proclaim to use) a significant amount of weed and can see that success isn’t necessarily denied by the THC. But then I look at a lot of people I know, people who were on a path to, at the very least, the same mediocrity that I share, but who collapsed down the rabbit hole after months and months of constant marijuana abuse and you can’t help but wonder if marijuana is really the wonder “herb” that everyone proclaims it to be.
Again, I’m not demonizing moderate use of or medical use of MJ. But I get a little sick of those that sing its praises while conveniently ignoring its detrimental effects.
Yay, just few more days!
I wonder how this situation ended.
i am stuckinhellwithW’s mom. he finally got a job…ironically, he is cleaning up BP’s mess in the gulf. true story.