While she sounds like a nightmare, your real problem is the fact that your girlfriend feels an ‘obligation’ to this nut. (It sounds as if she’ll inevitably be living with you again, before too long.)

I dunno, this could be a problem. she should be in the psych ward vs. messing up the apt, esp. since you have a kid.

I didn’t grasp that the child was YOURS, until reading the above comment.

Do you really want a schizophrenic with a history of violence around your kid, even if just visiting? Perhaps your girlfriend should consider the two of you before the unpredictable lunatic friend. It doesn’t sound as if she’ll ever put her foot down– maybe you should.

This is not a MVWR but something far worse. Where is her family and other friends? I can bet you they have either fought this and gave up or just left her completely- but this is not your cross to bear. You and your girlfriend have gone above and beyond the limits of helping someone like this. The very fact that she has put you and yours in several dangerous and increasingly life-threatening situations has made any ‘guilt’ and obligation null and void- your girlfriend needs to understand this. My father was schizo and after 16 years of hell we were finally able to escape- I totally understand where your girlfriend feels the need to protect and care for the person- it’s called enabling for a reason and I still care for my father- but after the final time he hung my sister over a railing and threatened me with a knife? Guess what? We chose finally ourselves because there is no way to justify destroying healthy lives for those who probably cannot be helped. Please get her out of your life and into the hands of professionals who can help this poor soul. She only sounds like she is getting worse and not better, so you need to do what you have to in order to protect your family. That involves changing your locks or moving; getting an order of protection or restraint and calling in Mental Health Services and letting them handle it from now on. You have a case; there is a report now that she attacked your girlfriend. Your girlfriend had better back you up as the next time could be worse- and trust me, it will happen if you don’t act now while you have the opportunity. Please for the love of god and your family DO IT.

Your wife sound like she needs you to back her up. And when I say that I mean you need to set some limits and be “her asshole husband” if need be. If she can’t tell this woman to fuck off for you and your child, you need to do it. Your wife will be mad at you at first I’m sure, but this needs to be done. What happens if your child gets hurt? You would hate yourself for not doing it sooner. You guys have done all you can for this woman. Think of yourselves. My husband has had to override me before (and vice versa) and at the time I was pissed, but my emotions were clouding my judgment. This sounds like the same case…

I agree with everyone else, this woman needs help. Get the authorities involved if you have to, but for the good of you, your girlfriend, your daughter and most of all for her get her the help she needs. Without help things will only get worse and probably never get better.

you knew she was schizo and let her live with you AGAIN? even after all that shit? i can understand wanting to help and be compassionate, but I agree, why did it have to be you? Schizophrenics do not get better, unfortunately. they are like that for life. And if you have a child, your responsibility is to your child, not your schizophrenic friend of a friend.

I’m rather shocked at the lack of compassion shown on this thread. The woman needs psychiatric help. She is not responsible for her actions. That doesn’t mean she should be around kids, with her history of violence, but she is a person with a severe mental illness, not a calculating criminal.

Schizophrenia can often be controlled significantly with adequate medication, and some schizophrenics can regain normal functioning (though it is not typical, of course). Proper treatment could do so much for this poor woman, and it is the right thing to make sure she gets it.

I second Claire’s comment. People with mental illness don’t choose their fate, and can’t control when or how their condition will manifest itself. Calling them nuts, shizos, or lunatics is unhelpful and nasty.

I hope the lady encounters someone in her life who will help her obtain, and stick with, treatment for her condition.

Two words: RESTRAINING ORDER…
This woman should be nowhere near your child, under any circumstances.

Betty– “nut” and “lunatic” mean insane, while “shizo” precisely means schizophrenic. Calling a spade a spade may be blunt, but unless the OP were the one suffering from schizophrenia I see nothing especially nasty about using these words.

As to the words being “unhelpful’ in this context, I disagree: seems that the OP’s girlfriend has a sentimental blind-spot concerning the friend, which has made their family’s life hell and continues to put them and their kid in danger. Under these circumstances, genteel euphemisms meant to camouflage the resulting crazy behavior would TRULY be unhelpful. (Is using the phrase “sanity challenged” more helpful– or less– in encouraging him to overrule his girlfriend’s poor judgment?)

Whether the mentally ill choose their fate or not is neither here nor there, the upshot is that living with a schizophrenic is akin to living with an uncaged pet tiger.

This is an extremely sad story. It sucks that she was a bad roommate to you, but I think it must suck way more to be her in real life. It sounds like she is so mentally ill that she has no concept that she needs immediate help. As for the psych ward discharging her, I would bet money that because your ex-roomie has no health insurance that they unloaded her like a ton of bricks at the first excuse. Nowadays even people who have poisoned themselves are denied admission from the ER if they don’t have insurance. And we wonder why so many of them end up homeless on the streets.

It is obvious that you had no choice but to kick her out for your own and your child’s safety, but I hope things turn out okay for her. Probably they won’t, though.

Lisa – Really? I guess “darkie” also stands for anyone who isn’t white and the word “bitch” is ok to use for an irritable woman. Just because a word also means the same as another does not mean it carries the same connotation. There are loads of words that were once positive terms that have turned into far worse (Fag, anyone?). Calling someone “schizo” isn’t a term that shows any sort of respect. Especially if it is your father (Christy has a LONG line of healing to come to understand the daily pain her father lived in).

And while the OP has every right to choose these words when discussing it with his girlfriend, we commenters shouldn’t continue the lack of compassion and cruelty in lack of understanding. I prefer to not be callous online as it greatly affects how shitty I am to everyone in RL. While living with a schizophrenic is painful and challenging, I don’t try to make myself feel better by calling schizophrenics “lunatics,” “nuts” or “schizos.”

I mean, wouldn’t is just suck to realize that the schizophrenic is just like you with slightly different wiring and not some subhuman who should be tossed into a cell and forgotten about?

Lisa, I can’t thank you enough for the fascinating vocabulary lesson. Until you enlightened me, I never knew that it was preferable to use slangy, demeaning words to describe people, rather than commonly accepted terminology (oops, sorry- “genteel euphemisms.)
This knowledge has changed my life. From now on, when I go to my job as a nurse, I won’t say that my patients are paraplegics; “crippled” is much more fun. The man in a coma will henceforth be referred to as a “vegetable”. The lady who lost a foot to diabetes will be addressed as “Stumpy”. And it goes without saying that anyone whose mind works differently than mine will be “crazy” or “nuts”.
Speaking of differences, my best friend will just have to accept it when I call her the n-word, because it means the same thing as black, right? I guess I’ll call her son a “retard” or “idiot” instead of learning-disabled; he needs to toughen up. And my sister-in-law will feel so valued when I call her and my nephew “spics”. My husband can start calling me a “prairie-nigger/frog”, instead of Lakota/French. Next time my dad comes to visit, I’ll call him and his partner “faggots”. Thanksgiving at our house will be fun this year, now that I know how to talk right.
However, next time I run into my ex, I’m not sure I should call him a “schizo”, because, let’s face it, those crazy people are dangerous, just like an “uncaged pet tiger”. To think, all this time, I’ve been treating him like an actual human being! Good thing you set me straight, Lisa.

Betty- Yes, schizophrenics are frequently dangerous, as the OP”S account of his girlfriend’s attempted strangulation attests.

I myself have experience with a schizophrenic friend who made my life utter hell until I severed ties, I find the uncaged pet tiger comparison is apt– docile at at one moment, unpredictably hostile & violent the next.

As for your extended diatribe on slang— you’re free to use any words you choose, just as I’m free to use the words I chose: “nut” and “lunatic”.

As a man with a child in the house, where in the sam hell is your cojones amigo? Your first duty is to protect your wife and child. Yes mental health issues are a major thing in this world, but to put your family in jeopardy over this cooze is beyond me. If you were a real man, a protector you should be, I’m truly blown it gotten this far pansy. Grow a pair fer jings sake will ya?

there are so many un-PC jokes i want to make after betty’s post that i think i’d better just leave

OK. I understand both sides of this, and I am all for compassion for people suffering from mental illness – it’s not her fault how she’s behaving, and she deserves compassion and help and all that. I truly believe that.

However – sometimes you have to put your family and your own safety first. This woman tried to kill his girlfriend – her own best friend. And they have a kid in the house. She’s unpredictable and sometimes violent. I don’t agree that ALL schizophrenics are violent and/or can never get better, because plenty do. But this one isn’t, and until she is, I think it’s fair to set major limits with her – like, she can’t LIVE with them, can’t be around the kid, etc. That’s not being cold or heartless, it’s just being realistic.

I have relatives who are schizophrenic or otherwise in need to support for mental illnesses, and while obviously you should never live with someone you are not capable or able to deal with, you really can’t judge them for having these problems.

She’s not doing this to annoy you, she’s not doing it on purpose, she wouldn’t choose to live this way if she had a choice.

she’s smoking weed though, even though it’s well known to be a trigger for latent or existing schizophrenia.

Boy, nothing inspires vitriol like using the stray politically-incorrect word.

Apply the word “nut” (a crazy or eccentric person) to one of your capricious friends and it’s a term of endearment. Apply the same word to someone who’s criminally insane, and you’re a a “vapid sack of shit”.

According to Newspeak, certain words are sanctioned only as long as they’re used completely in jest, the customary meanings inverted?

Dorothy, it’s telling that you chose to say “WE’RE ALL going to walk away knowing…”, the presumption being that others share your opinion, and Might Makes Right. It’s amazing how often people try to employ this underhanded tactic* in conversation.

* http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Argumentum_ad_populum

Change the locks and never let her in again, dufus.
What if she tries to strangle your kid next? Grow a pair and put a stop to this.

Why would you allow this nutcase near your child? Even if your girlfriend is a dope who has strange feelings of protectiveness over this lunatic, hopefully you’d have a clearer head and protect your child.

Stupid all around.

I love the people defending this *respectfully not so sane* girl. My whole family is NUTS. We, are crazy. Some with papers to prove it. No one chooses to be crazy, true, but anyone that disregards the fact that someone is crazy and allows them to live with them is just not smart. I don’t care if that’s fair. Life can fucking suck sometimes, and not be fair. Yes it sucks, but acting like the world is bubbles and sunshine and trying to operate like it’s perfect, is a juvenile way to try to live I think. Get her away from your family, then you can think about being PC and getting her help. Being PC will not stop you from being dead, or from suffering from some misfortune.

At last! Soemhting clear I can understand. Thanks!