Ms. Mumbles
My freshmen year in college, I lived in a large dorm room with three other girls. Three of us got along well, but the fourth girl was definitely My Very Worst Roommate. First, she never showered. She would occasionally disappear in to the bathroom and turn the sink on for 30 minutes at a time, and I don’t know what she did in there, but it wasn’t doing her any favors. She had horrendous body odor. You could tell if she had been in a room recently, just by smelling the air. She also never did laundry, but she did wake up at 6:00am every morning to iron her jeans (WTF? Who irons their jeans)?
MVWR also had a bizarre habit of mumbling to herself. At first, I thought she was talking on the phone a lot, but I eventually realized she was just mumbling, constantly, sometimes in different voices. We usually couldn’t understand her, but sometimes we would hear her say our names. Yes, she talked about us, to herself, while we were in the same room. Creeptastic. She would blast the same Ludacris song on repeat on her stereo, then leave the room, but leave the music on while she was gone, and yell at us if we turned it off. Halfway through the year, she switched from Ludacris to Celine Dion (again, WTF)?
She would fall asleep in the living room with the TV on, and use our blankets (which then acquired her unique stench). She once slept for hours while the DVD menu to “Fat Albert” played on repeat. (“Hey hey hey! Hey hey hey! Hey hey hey!”) She liked turning all the lights, the TV and the radio on in the middle of the night. She wouldn’t stop, so my roommates and I started hiding the TV remote and unscrewing the light bulbs at night. She was even obnoxious in her sleep. She talked in her sleep and snored.
She would also repeatedly kick her foot against my bed frame, to the rhythm of a song, repeatedly, such that I could feel my entire bed shaking to the beat. She would do this every night until she fell asleep, and then the sleep-talking or snoring would begin. We complained about her behavior constantly and one night, MVWR brought her friends in to the room and had them all scream at the top of their lungs at the same time, to wake the rest of us up, in retaliation. Frankly, I was just amazed she HAD friends – but I guess her friends stopped hanging out with her not too long after that, too. She said they “had a falling out.” I wonder if her friends confronted her about her body odor?
Ugh. I can’t stand stinky bitches. I understand teenage boys are dirty little things, but girls? Come on, we know better. The more I read this site, the more I see I could have never lived with someone not my boyfriend. I would have killed this girl. You mess with my sleep and I’m afraid you have to die….
WHY CAN’T PEOPLE JUST TAKE SHOWERS?! WTF?!
I mean seriously. She can take the time to iron her jeans & pretend to take a shower but washing her clothes & actually taking a shower she can’t do?
She obviously is mentally unstable. I mean, watching Fat Albert and listening to Celine Dion? People like that tend to not pay attention to hygiene. (people that are mentally unstable).
The best part about this story is the Fat Albert dvd menu playing for hours. It took all my strength not to lose my sh*t laughing at my desk. Unfortunately, anytime I even think of it (“hey hey hey”) I start cracking up again.
Too funny…but must have been atrocious at the time!
I gotta agree with Andrew, with all the time she wasted pretending to take a shower, she could have just… I don’t know… taken a damn shower! As for the music thing, not only would I have turned the music off but I would have taken the CD and hidden it (or thrown it out depending on how malicious I was feeling that day). And pretty much everything from the third paragraph on… the beatings would start.
Sounds like she may have some mental disorder… schizophrenia starts to rear its head around adolescence…
3 on 1, drag stinky roommate to shower, turn shower on, chuck her in, cover in shower gel. Repeat until she learns to take a shower.
Don’t worry about her clothes – sound like they could use a rinse too.
Man, this roomate sounds annoying! As for the DVD, my es roomate was bad for that too. Leaving the DVD on the start menue for hours. He even ended up breaking the DVD player somehow by always doing that.
Yeah, the DVD menu playing over & over again cracked me up. I’ve been in situations where that happened (either due to inebriation or tiredness) but there is just something so maliciously annoying about a DVD menu playing over & over.
Lol, she was in the bathroom with the water running for 30 minutes because she was POOPING. DUH.
And Mmmichelle, I didn’t know if was written in my genes to be a hygienic female. I thought it was something I was taught by my parent and due to my healthy mental facilities, I was able to continue that learning into adulthood. I was quite the fool to think that, because now I know girls just “know better.” Shucks
BRB, heading back to chain myself to the stove.
Did her parents not love her enough to teach her about hygiene? Jeezy creezy!
Although, with the mumbling and not bathing and turning on everything on in the middle of the night for no apparent reason, it’s possible she may have had a mental illness. Hygiene is something that can go by the wayside if somebody is mentally ill.
I have to admit, I was also laughing at the Fat Albert DVD menu thing.
This made me lol
rawr, there you go with your jeezy creezy again.
I am guessing that she had some sort of of mental illness…aside from her shitty taste in music, her mumbling, turning on the lights, poor hygiene, screaming friends, lots of obsessive compulsive type behaviour…my guess is she has some sort of schizoid disorder and was obviously not getting any treatment.
I iron my jeans…. not at 6am though, of course.
A complete lack of hygiene and mumbling to herself screams of mental issues. I really hope this girl got some sort of help.
body odor is nasty that is why i always take a bath twice a day.:~-
bahahahahahaha i have never commented on any of these, though i frequently read, but i just had to say the fat albert remark (hey hey hey!) made me crack up, and i’m still randomly laughing as i type this.
It sounds like she was just never taught things, wasn’t raised right. Your parents are supposed to raise you to know how to clean yourself and interact with people, and appear even mildly sane. Was she an orphan by any chance? If not, her parents really should be ashamed.