Nerd In The Mix
College was a fantastic time in my life, but it certainly didn’t start off that way. Firstly, my mother contrived to stick me into an all-male dorm under some silly notion that I wouldn’t get into trouble. Truth be told, guys who live in coed dorms tend to be a lot more civilized than their animal counterparts in all-male dorms–but I guess that’s water under the bridge at this point.
Secondly, I had not one, not two, but THREE roommates, in what they called a “quad” (which was basically a slightly larger room–nowhere NEAR the same amount of square footage per person). Granted, I was a total nerd and a basket case (from never having to share personal living space as I grew up), but these guys were assholes, too. The nerd blood was in the water on day one–and these guys clearly relished in making my life miserable.
One of the aggravating factors was that I resisted partying with my roommates, which they correctly interpreted as a snub. They were able to get back at me, though. One night I got totally smashed with my friends, and paid the price in the hall bathroom (in these dorms, there was only one large shared bathroom per hall). The bathroom was a locker-room type setup, with benches in front of the showers. Anyway, after my stomach was sufficiently emptied, I stumbled to one of the benches and passed out. My next memory was my three roommates standing over me with the exact same smile on their faces. One of them finally spoke:
“Hey, do you realize some dude’s naked, hairy ass was pressed on that bench? Your face is right up on it, dude!”
I passed out again, and I remember thinking “he has a point.”
Erm….ok? They didn’t shave your balls after the hairy ass comment, did they?
Maybe the OP is leaving some stuff out, but this doesn’t seem like such a bad situation. Small room you’re not used to sharing probably sucked. But, they asked OP to party, he snubbed them. Then OP got drunk with his friends and passed out on a bench. How is that bad?
Which one was the worst roommate?
…that sounds like something I’d say to my best friend if (s)he were ever in that situation. I would be amused by the situation too, it’s not like it was anybody else’s fault but your’s.
Sounds like you’re leaving a LOT of stuff out, OP. Good that you had the presence of mind to find their comment sadly true though.
Frankly, in a situation with one nerd and three assholes who came straight out of high school pissing on nerds, there is just no winning. Wish you had shared more of the crappy roommates’ douchebaggery, but if my experience in high school as a nerd was anything to go by, I’m guessing it was more an accumulation of things rather than significantly terrible singular occasions.
That doesn’t sound like the best example of a MVWR situation. It does seem like the OP is leaving a lot of pertinent information out.
I’m with EJuly – it was probably a miserable accumulation of torture but no big, over the top things. “Like being pecked to death by a duck.”
More details are needed to flesh this out and get my sympathy vote. :/
Hey, maybe I should get something for having the lowest-rated story by the most people. Like a kick in the pants.
I didn’t want to give a boring laundry list of beefs against these jokers, and get to the punch line quickly (which actually happened – though I wonder now if it might’ve been a dream).
But here is the list:
1 – They stole my shit (food, beer, CDs, etc). Since there were three of them I could never pinpoint anyone.
2- One of them was a permanent student. I think he might’ve been in his late twenties. He was like a creep who keeps going back to his high school long after he graduated.
3 – Another of them was a lacrosse player. I’ve never met a non-douche lacrosse guy in my life. I’m sure their water bottles have those funny nozzles.
4 – The last one was constantly sarcastic and snarky – extremely annoying
5 – With four guys sharing a room, some asshole was always up making noise. I actually caught up with my sleep in the college library.
The irony is that I became much more social due to me being forced out of the room. I met some fantastic people who are friends to this day (2o years later). I also met a guy (who despised his own room-mate) at a drunken party and we decided to be room-mates ourselves. We ended up with the best room in the dorm (a corner unit), and he was the best room-mate I ever had. He was a huge guy, and it was fun seeing the jocks run away from us when he got mad. I think all nerds need to find a friend who is a monster.