Hair Raiser
I moved across country for five months to work and was placed in a three-bedroom apartment with five other girls. We decided I would share a room with E. Within a week, I found out I couldn’t use my laptop in my room at night because my typing was too loud and my screen was too bright. She would sleep in a spaghetti strap t-shirt and thong with just a sheet, and compensate by turning the heat to 80 degrees in Orlando, Florida. After a month, I was so uncomfortable in my room, I moved to the couch, which sadly, was less awkward. E would go to bed by 8pm, then complain the TV was too loud and preventing her from sleeping. She would get up at 6am and sing at the top of her lungs in the shower, waking the rest of us. She flat ironed her melted hair daily, first using mine until I started hiding it, then using her own, leaving it on to scorch the counter, as well as the stench of her burnt and broken hair all over our shared bathroom.
She only did laundry twice during the five months and just shoved the rest under her bed. She could only make scrambled eggs and usually burned those and left them in the sink. She lived off of peanut butter, literally just eating it out of the jar with a spoon. E was also, by far, the dumbest person I had ever met. She wasn’t allowed to drive, even in her hometown because she would get lost and not be able to find her way home. One day, she came out of “our” room (I still used the closet) and said the room had a funky smell and wondered if I had an air freshener. I told her to open the window to get rid of the smell rather than just cover it and make it worse. She started going to the room, taking only a few steps before turning around and asking how to do that! I bought an ironing board and iron because I was raised to press everything. I was fine with my roommates using it as well. One day, A, another roommate, came home to find the iron on, and very hot. When later confronting E about it, she said that she had left it on and thought the blinking warning light meant it was charging, not that it needed to be unplugged. Those are just a few of the “smack your head at the shock of her stupidity†moments we had.
I was so glad to move out and be rid of her.
Were you raised to even press your underwear?
Wow, the “charging the iron” is awesomely horrible.
I…how does someone make it to living with roommates (or past the age of 5) and not know how to open a window?
I can’t fault her for getting lost because I have such a terrible sense of direction & once got lost in my neighborhood while looking at Christmas lights. But I at least had a general idea of where I was.
What an idiot. People like her are entertaining, but infuriating when it’s non-stop stupidity.
The iron incident crosses the line from stupid/funny to stupid/dangerous. Had E ever lived on her own before?
Probably not, BikeLizard. I bet she’s going to Darwin Awards herself one day.
Except for needing to straighten her hair, I think you had one of my college roommates.
You poor, poor person you.
Ah yes, I hate it when I forget to charge my iron. Seriously, how the frig do these people make it to adulthood? If this was the wild kingdom they’d be dead before they were alive a day.
Clearly a case of being raised in a home where Mommy and Daddy do everything for her. I recognize the symptoms as I’m living with 2 of those people now.
I once had a roommate who didn’t know how to use a coffeemaker! he thought you poured boiling water into it. Another guy I know had female roommate who literally did not know how to mop the floor (spoiled rich kid). In the case of the coffee maker guy, he wasn’t spoiled and rich, just stupid. I have no idea how these people make it to 21.
The first paragraph reminds me of MVWM. She would borrow my stuff all the time (flat iron, clothes, boots, makeup, deodorant, face wash, etc) and return them completely ruined. I had to hide everything in the spare closet so she wouldn’t find it and ruin it.
You know, sometimes a person is so stupid that it’s actually offensive…
Clearly no roommate setup is complete without a pyromaniac! I had one who would often go off and leave food under the grill, even to the extent of going out of the house to the shop or something. It did in one instance result in him calling the fire brigade rather than taking traditional steps such as turning the grill off and opening the windows/door. He also frequently lost his key. and at least once went out leaving the front door wide open. I should clarify that we did NOT live in the sort of quiet country village where you can get away with such things, if indeed these exist. (I come from a quiet country village and wouldn’t even do that there!)
Someone else had sucky roommates on the Disney College Program!! I know it so well…
I never got the whole ‘your laptop screen is too bright’ thing. I mean… most people still sleep with their eyes shut, right? Unless you’re angling the screen towards them, the effect on the ambient light is so slight that they’re probably not going to notice it behind their eyelids; it’s just something they’ve picked on with their eyes open to explain their inability to sleep.