The Sex Pest
MVWR wasn’t actually my roommate but we lived in the same hall and she was around enough to annoy me and everyone else in the building. She asked multiple times to move to the room next to mine - which was connected by a bathroom – luckily she wasn’t allowed to! Anyway, Lets call her CR. She was a international student from Russia. I met her when my roommate and I borrowed some milk from her and we thought she was pretty nice so we all started hanging out together. We soon realized that CR wasn’t the nice girl we thought she was, however, and she ended up being an attention seeking, braggy, creeper!
CR was pretty boy/girl crazy and would have sex with anyone who gave her the OK. Every time I talked to her there was a different guy and she even tried flirting with my boyfriend… while I was holding hands with him! Another girl had also told me that she felt very uncomfortable around CR as she had tried to convince the girl to shower with her. As this seemed nothing more than a rumor, I didn’t really worry about what I had been told. This changed the day my roommate and I went to dinner with her and I found her trying to play footsie with me, while leaning her head on my shoulder, however! I tried to ignore this but the expression on my face was probably one of sheer terror. I don’t have anything against same sex relationships, but this wasn’t something I was personally comfortable with. Things got worse and she would sometimes make sexual remarks to me and my roommate and she even once tried to pet my roommate while she was sleeping! We started to avoid her after this but one day she asked if we could talk so I agreed. I found her in the hall where she started crying, explaining to me that she wasn’t interested in women. I felt bad for thinking that she had been trying to hit on me until months later she admitted that she did like girls and that she had had sex with her best girl friend in Russia.
CR constantly bragged about her high end make up, fancy purses, and designer clothes. She doesn’t have a job but mooches off people whenever possible and her parents give her a monthly allowance of about $300. She sometimes dresses up as her favorite singers/book characters and takes pictures of her outfits then brags about them on Facebook. She also brags all the time about the guys she’s hooked up with. One night that I was out for dinner with her she told me all about how she had lost her virginity to a boy she had met 4 hours prior. She spoke loudly and in detail, completely disregarding the family with young kids sitting two feet away from us.
CR constantly made me take her places because I drove and she didn’t. Even if I said no she would come by every day and continue to ask me! When in my car, she would put her feet on the dashboard and change my radio stations and even had the nerve to complain about my driving. She once left her laptop in my room and since my roommate and I both had our keys I gave her mine so she could retreive it. We went back to the room 45 minutes later to find her sitting on my bed Skyping with her mother!
I finally decided that my friendship with CR wasn’t worth it when I visited her in the dorms (where she had decided to stay for summer courses while I moved home for the holidays) this summer. At first it was pretty good, we went to the movies with some friends and had a nice dinner but things went downhill when we went back to CR’s dorm. She was a big drinker and drug user and though she would often tell me that she had decided to quit this only lasted until someone gave her some for free. That night she asked me to split what was apparently a pot cookie with her. I agreed as I had tried pot a few times and didn’t have any problems with it. I don’t know what was in that cookie but it made me feel very sick and panicked. I blacked out several times and couldn’t find my sense of reality. I told her I was really scared and felt really sick and she told me that I was fine and not to worry about it. I tried to calm down but after blacking out several more times I decided to go to some friends for help. After violently puking up all the contents of my stomach I felt better but still refused to go back to her room. The next day I still felt sick and told her that I just wanted to lay down until I felt better enough to go home. She convinced me that going to the movies would make me feel better but instead I ended up driving her to the mall so she could spend hours window shopping! I decided I didn’t want anything to do with her after this. I recently found out that she had started dating a boy she met on the plane over from Russia. He lives 8 hours away and she hopes to move in with him next semester, living there and eating his food for free of course!
Most of your post is about how many people she has had sex with, and the fact that she had sex with girls. What of that makes her an annoying roommate, unless she did it in your room? This just reads like one poorly-written slut-shaming tirade from someone entirely without a spine. Did she hold a gun to your head when she ‘made’ you drive places? She gave you some drugs and you had a poor reaction, and this is her fault somehow? Grow a spine and take some responsibility for your own actions, and get over other people’s sex lives. Seriously.
She did display poor form in not reading your signals when she was flirting with you though. I am Russian and can’t see any cultural reason for why she’d think that sort of thing is acceptable. I do hope that someone took her aside and told her that the stereotype that Anglo people are promiscuous and always sexually eager is not accurate.
my very worst friendship? :/
The story is all over the place as well, it seems more like a list of her antics rather than a story that flows well – fairly hard to read.
Besides that this girl sounds crazy! Why did you stay friends with her for so long??
She seems to have every bad roommate tendancy there could be, good thing you didn’t actually share living quarters with her!
I pity the boyfriend.
Eeesh, I pity everyone here – sounds like a trial on all fronts.
Tip for the OP, though: if a girl hits on you and you’re not comfortable with it, a simple “I’m sorry, but I’m not interested in women” is the way to go. Freezing up in terror is seldom helpful (and I’ll admit I found it slightly insulting until I read on to CR petting your roommate, because ew creepy I’d be terrified of that too).
Carry a tazer.
She doesn’t sound so bad.
@DespicableUs Yes! My” story” is all over the place. But that’s exactly how my friendship is with her. Also, I quickly wrote it at 2 AM because I had been reading tons of MVWR stories and wanted to write one of my own. A list of antics would be a better way to put it.
I stayed friends with her because I’m pretty timid, I didn’t want to be mean… >.<
@Sasheron – It wasn't the fact that she was promiscuous. It was the fact that she bragged about it so constantly! No, she never did it in my room… But she constantly let herself in to use my things, drink my coffee, and convince me to drive her places. And I say "made" me drive her places because I would say no one day, and she would continually ask me every day until I gave in and said yes. She would knock on my door and wouldn't leave until I took her to her destination.
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I wish I would have thought this post through a little more, I don't mean to offend anyone! It's not the fact that shes Russian, bisexual, or the fact that she's a little promiscuous that bothered me. It was the fact that she was so selfish!
Though I will tell you one of her most recent antics: I ran into her at my school cafeteria and we ended up eating lunch together. She told me that her parents discovered she took a trip to LA without telling them, and let her boyfriend pay for ALL the expenses ($1500). Her dad felt betrayed and refused to send her anymore money. She begged her host family for money, but they have 2 kids and couldn't afford to give her any at the time, and she accused them of bad parenting for "not having any money to pay for their kids." Then, she begged me for some art supplies and I'm taking art classes this semester so I had none to give her. She finally told me that she cheated on her boyfriend in LA, who was recently recovering from a heart attack.
Occasionally she still texts me asking for rides the city, or other little things. Since she doesn't live down the hall anymore I don't reply…
The fact that CR had sex with a lot of people doesn’t make her a bad roommate/friend. However, I do think the fact that CR blatantly flirting with OP’s boyfriend in front of her, making a number of unwanted sexual advances towards OP, and sharing unwanted details about her sex life does. Slut-shaming someone’s personal decisions? Horrible. Slut-shaming someone’s actions toward you? Justifiable.
That said, OP does need a spine… don’t like CR hitting on you, or mooching off of you? Tell her.
OP – So make the story about her selfishness. If she bragged about it, it’s just words. Tell her you’re not interested in hearing that stuff. Why write a story almost entirely about her sex life when your main complaint is her invasiveness? Her sexual actions towards you made up only a very small proportion of the story. Also, you seriously need a spine. By giving in you are only encouraging her to beg. This is like feeding ducks or pigeons – you give them a little, and they swarm all over you. This is not a story about someone unpleasant cohabiting with you. This is a story about how much you hate this girl but lack the mettle to say no. Boring.
That’s exactly how my body reacted when I had pot brownies (that I had made myself), so I’m pretty sure you just ate a pot cookie and it wasn’t “laced” with anything. I did eat the whole pan in one sitting though.
Claiming that you are too timid to stand up for yourself is a really really bad thing. I strongly encourage you to get with a school counsellor and deal with this problem NOW. It’s not going to get better on it’s own, and the issues it will cause in your life are not worth ignoring this for.
If someone treated me like she treats you I tell them firmly to stop, and if they don’t it goes from firmly to forcefully. My story would have ended after the foot thing. Yours goes on for months.
I agree with Sasheron – this is a poorly written diatribe about selfish little brat who the OP could have easily told off or, at the very least, avoided. I could see having to put up with some of her behavior if you were forced to share a room with her, but it seems like you and your roomie actually hung out with her repeatedly despite knowing her behavior. Why the hell would you not tell her to back the fuck up when she hit on your boyfriend in front of you? Why would you then turn around and hang out and eat a “pot cookie” with her after all this? Doesn’t make sense to me.
Back in my younger days I was a bit on the spineless side too, but I just can’t see going through this crap for months and months (even if your encounters were few and far between) and not ever once growing a bit of a backbone – even in a passive-aggressive sort of manner. It seems like the OP kind of liked the drama or is a masochist of some sort.